#fluff]angst

“Another report?”

Your eyes were tired, you were tired as you noticed her stare at you, remaining silent until she finally decided to speak up.

“Listen, I know you're only doing this hell of a job in order to find your missing boyfriend, but please remember that we have limited people who we're working with and most definitely not enough for you to be solely in charge of his case.” She scolded.

You groaned in frustration, “Are you done criticizing?” you muttered under your breath, flipping through the stacks worth of valuable information.

She blinked, shaking her head shortly after in disappointment as she sighed, earning a glare from you.

“Unfortunately, you're one of our best so please hurry up and do your job right.” she murmured.

Slamming the folders onto the desk while standing up and pulling your chair near her, taking a seat with a fake smile spread wide across your face.

“Well then Ms. Know-it-all, would you please stop bickering and take the time to show me this new case?” You asked, with an obvious sarcasm in your voice.

People often had the tendency to misinterpret you, leading to misunderstandings. Becoming a detective wasn't an choice whenever he went missing many years back, and it bothered you that people commonly misconceived your agony for discourtesy.

You felt guilty. Guilty for becoming a top detective in your facility. Guilty for failing to keep that promise that was made so long ago.

Home felt like a prison; you only ever saw visions of how life was back then when everything was simply normal; had dreams that felt so real, so vivid that they almost fooled you, fooled you into thinking that everything was just a bad nightmare and in reality he was still next to you, holding you tight into the arms of his embrace.

Somehow, you still lived in denial; a slight hope that he was still out there somewhere: alive and well, though you knew the percentage of that was close to little or even none. Truthfully, the more you thought about it the closer you were to quitting that stupid job. It brought you nothing but anguish.

Afterall, it'd been 4 years. There was no chance of ever finding him by now.

Though your consciousness would never leave you alone if you ever quit without any sense of closure.

Before taking a job as a detective, you wished to study something more simplistic and take a different approach in life. Something that would allow you to live comfortably while still having time for him. You'd walk past the door everyday, always coming home to the lively smell of freshly cooked food, or the smell of a clean house.

You'd walk into the kitchen and see him, wrap your arms around his waist and allow yourself to rest on his warmth.

And now even the house seemed to have lost its color; as if it knew that there was no life occupying its residency anymore; it felt as if walking into an empty void of darkness.

The only reason you'd ever move his things was to brush away any dust that had made home on his furniture, besides that you never dared to move anything from where he had left it, not even when you got tired of seeing the same layout everyday. Maybe because it was the only thing you had left of him.

Following your steps and walking over to the door; taking a deep breath before opening it and revealing the other side, walking in as you let your legs guide you.

Dragging yourself, you moved slowly, almost limply over to the vase which was in the corner of his TV stand, carrying the brand new bouquet of red roses and placing them neatly inside, taking a seat on his bed as you forced a smile, already beginning to feel the warmth creep into your throat.

“Happy Anniversary.. Yunho..” you muttered, cheeks burning in vexation.

“It's been 8 years.”

Silence filled the room once more, almost as if you were expecting an answer.

You felt the tears stream down your face.

“My birthday's coming up… I'll be 24..”

Though it was hard, you began accepting the reality you were in, feeling yourself collapse onto his bed as your tears streamed down your cheeks furiously and landed on those blankets that hadn't been slept in for years.

Taking multiple deep breaths and sitting up. “I really wish you had finished your game. I can still recall how excited you were about it…” You muttered as your eyes landed on the game collection he'd been so enthusiastic about.

Sure, what you were doing would be considered stupid to an outsider who had no human decency on how it felt losing someone as special as Yunho; but to you it felt like therapy. Almost like you were speaking to him again.

Sighing, you stood up from his bed and walked towards the TV, wiping off some of the dust which had gathered.

“I hope you don't get upset with me for moving your things to the attic. I doubt it's healthy for me to keep it here, so I'll probably move everything soon, when I get the chance.”

You finally left the room, deciding it would be best to leave everything for the moment and go make yourself something for dinner, just to clear your mind, however, the moon came out from under the trees and soon came your bedtime.

Your room was at the end of the hall, which meant it was a requirement to walk past your missing boyfriend’s empty bedroom. Almost everyday for the last 1,460 days, you walked past that shut door that led into an empty void.

This time however, you felt strangely drawn to the room, and it wasn't until you noticed the soft light that peeked from underneath the door frame that you realized why that might've been.

The thought of an intruder was the first automatic thought that came into your mind, though instead of being fearful, you felt mostly frustrated.

Opening the door, you walked into the room with caution. It was emptied of any life except for the bright TV, which illuminated the room with a screen that had been long forgotten.

It was the game's homepage, the game that Yunho had been so excited about so many years ago. The brown bubble boxes of options dangling on the screen cheerfully; background moving with ease as it navigated through a default map from afar.

Staring and chuckling, you moved towards the remote and clicked on the off settings, which was uneventful as the screen went pitch black. You sprinted towards the door, about to close it behind you until the wall in front of you lit up with a bright light.

Once more, you turned around and saw the TV’s screen, shining optimistically on the game's homepage with the same brown bubble boxes dangling in the middle; this time, the background showed a different setting, which was that of a shop.

Maybe it was a glitch.

Making your way back, you picked up the controller, once more and clicked the off button; although the TV didn't shut off this time, the screen remained the same, unmoving except for the game's homepage animation.

You clicked again and again but nothing.

You walked towards the disk inserter, clicking the glowing button which was to release the disk contraction.

Nothing happened.

Walking back, the screen remained indifferent, mocking if not. And though you certainly weren't in the mood or mindset for it, you felt you mind ignoring what you knew you shouldn't, going into a state of euphoria as you picked up a controller from the stand and clicked the one and only option.

You walk aimlessly. Your steps are lazy and lack direction. Something weighed heavy on your mind. It wasn't a good day, you reminded yourself while you stepped deep into a puddle of water harshly. Your shoes are soaked.

“Wait! W-wai—” 

He stopped. A sudden wall was in his way of catching up to you. 

“How irritating..” 

His first instinct was to slowly pull out his gun. That alone would send people screaming and running. But not them. And when he loaded his gun and took his aim with one hand, something stopped him. His blood suddenly turned to ice. His dark brown eyes slightly widened. 

“You haven't changed. You said you would leave this place.” 

He scowled at the man before him. Someone who he once had called a partner. His friend. 

“Shut up. It doesn't concern you whether or not I decided to leave.”

The man smiled painfully. His eyes held sorrow and pity on the man he so often viewed as a damaged child.

“I told you it didn't matter in the end… to be good. Why.. did you go back on your word?”

A warning shot was fired just past his ear. His face hot, cheek stinging in pain from such a small, superficial wound.

“I made my decision. You're in my way. I suggest moving aside.”

“It's not too late.” 

He held both arms up with open palms facing Dazai. 

There was another gunshot. Just one. Then the only sound that remained was the light drizzle of rain hitting the pavement. 

“Bullshit. I was damned before you even met me.” 

He pressed on. A heavy weight now on his back as he picked up the pace to catch up once more. There you were. Waiting at a bus stop that was clearly long out of service for the night.

“Finally.. there you are.”

He caught his breath and gave a weak smile before it quickly faded to dismay. 

You held onto both crutches tightly through the rain making it troublesome. Your left leg in a boot that was soaked from the rain. Left wrist bandaged and you had two stitches above your left eyebrow.

“..What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

It wasn't out of fear. Not anger. It was a concern. Worried. You noticed blood on him but you knew better than to think he got injured. 

“Who—”

“No one.”

He quickly cut you off. It didn't matter how many times you asked anyway. Dazai hardly ever told you who he got involved with let alone who he killed.

His hand reached out to cup your cheek. Cold rough hands caressed you and oddly enough it was warmer than the sun. But his eyes were cruel, bloodthirsty. Searching for something, someone to blame for your current state.

“It was—”

“I know. Don't say another word. I don't want to ruin the moment.”

You both went quiet. And as he continued to stroke your cheeks, you couldn't help but feel at peace. The deadliest man alive was right in front of you, and you didn't flinch whatsoever. 

He towered over you, his face leaned in to hover above your shoulder as he spoke in a low voice.

“No one can stop me. You know that already. It doesn't matter who or how many.”

Dazai exhaled heavily. This was clearly something he had been waiting for a long time to say. His breath is warm and tickling your ear. 

“ This game of cat and mouse is over. I won. I always win. And now, I'm going to claim what's rightfully mine.”

You swallowed hard. It was bound to happen. The inevitable. How stupid you were to think you could beat Dazai. You should've seen it from a mile away when he gave you such a big head start. But you tried to take him for a fool.

“The best way to trick a fool is to let the fool think he's tricking you.”

He said with snark, grinning. Dazai pushed you to sit down on the bench. It didn't take much to make you fall. Your heart was racing but you refused to break your poker face.

“You don't react like the others. That's interesting.” 

Dazai reached out to pull up strands of your hair, letting it fall through his fingers, strand by strand. Like playing with a doll. 

All you could do was watch as a small smile formed when he played with your hair. 

“It's too bad you're in such bad condition. But, I suppose it's a good change of pace. I've hardly had the chance to keep one alive before.”

The basement had looked like a hoarder's home until you came into the picture. 

"Cal, how did you let your house get this bad?" You stared in disbelief at your boyfriend. 

He shrugged, throwing down his gym bag on the dusty floor. 

"Dunno. Anyway, aren't you gonna say hi to me?" 

"Hi." You deadpanned, returning back to the accumulation of items on the floor. 

He pouted at the response. 

"Awe that's no way to treat the man who you love." 

"Are you sure about that? Maybe you deserve a bit of reprimanding for all this stashed trash." 

Cal let out a playful grunt and pulled you into his arms. Lifting you off the ground he moved back toward the stairs. 

"Wait! I'm not done in here-" 

"And?" He hoisted you over his shoulder. "Aren't I more important than some junk?" 

"That's not the point let me down!" You beat against his back but Cal kept walking. You could see his tail wagging from behind, excited you were in his grasp. He was so ready to squeeze something soft and warm after such a long day. 

Sometimes, it was a real hassle having a werewolf as a boyfriend. 

His ears twitched with excitement as he headed up the stairs to the couch. You grumbled, failing to get out of his grip. 

"C'mon let me go!" 

"Never." Cal muffled into your side as he kissed your abdomen. He tossed you onto the couch as you let out an "oomph!"

"I've been waiting all day for this." He grinned, looking down at you as you laid at his mercy. 

He was often affectionate, but tonight was a whole other level. Without warning, he jumped on top of you as you cried out. 

"No, I'm all sweaty! And I need to finish--" 

He cut you off as he smothered you with kisses. "So am I-- but you don't see me making a big deal out of it." He inhaled your smell, traveling down to your neck. "m'just got back from the gym too. Don't cha wanna see how hard I worked?" 

You covered your face, embarrassed at how he was slowly inching his shirt up. You pulled his hands back down and looked away. 

"You're so embarrassing..." 

"You're right," he pulls your hands towards his and entwines them with his own. "I want to smell you first before I go there.." 

"No!" You cried out, embarrassed even more than before. But Cal didn't listen. 

"Calhaun," you warned, using his full name to show your seriousness.

But he mischievously smiled, not listening to a word you said. Before you could stop him he pinned your hands next to you and buried his face into your chest. 

You squirmed as he inhale your scent. 

"Don't," you whined. "I've been cleaning all day I don't--" 

He mumbled against your chest as you squirmed around. 

"M’smell so good..." Cal removed his hands from yours and ran them down your body. "I've been waiting all day for this." 

You tried once more to get up, but his weight was too much. He laughed against you and crept a hand up your shirt. 

Sighing out of defeat, you looked down at him with a heated face. 

"Don't try anything mister." 

"Oh ye, of little faith."

He laughed and traveled down your abdomen, smelling each inch of you. 

"Your smell... is so sweet.." he massaged your flesh and dug his face under your shirt. "But...what's this...?" 

"What? What is it?" You feared for the worst, knowing all of Cal's senses were far sharper than yours. 

"It's..." he lifted your shirt up further, his nose pressed against your stomach. "Something different, it's not your smell." 

You looked at him with a perplexed expression. 

"It smells like...another man." 

"Huh?" 

"Someone else's scent... it's musky. Barely there but I can smell it. " 

Cal’s voice dropped in pitch as he began to grip tighter onto you. 

"Why... Do you smell like that?" All playfulness in his voice left. "I thought you said you were home all day." 

He climbed up from your stomach and moved to stare into your eyes. His expression was dark, giving you a thin frown and drooped ears. 

"I was!" 

"So why do you smell different, You were here with another man alone?"

"No-- I, I just had some friends over to help..." 

"Male friends. Of which are always trying to get into your pants." 

"They aren't like that.." you mumbled. Cal stared you down. 

"They arent like that, really? Then tell me who came." 

"Just.. the guys you met last week." 

"Right."

Cal grit his teeth, his body tensing up."So the ones who were all over you. Touching you and talking about your ass all night."

You gripped Cal's hand that held pressure in your own. The dark look that washed over his eyes made you nervous. 

"That's not true." You frowned. 

"Yeah? Cause I saw them gawking at you the entire time. I heard the words come straight out of their mouths." 

"They just came to help out!" 

"You're too nice for your own good you know that!? theyll take advantage of you any second they get!" Cal shouted back. 

You went silent, unable to make eye contact with him. His words had some semblance of truth. Some of your friends had tried to make a move on you, but you always thought it was a joke or just a friendly gesture. 

"If you dont love me than just say it." He mumbled. 

You stared in shock at him.

"What… why would you say that…" 

"Forget it." Cal pouted, moving off of you. 

"I mean if you were gonna cheat at least get that scent off before you see me." He said barely above a whisper. 

"That's-- how could you say such a thing?!" 

Cal looked guilty, uncrossing his arms. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that…" 

"Do you not trust me? Do you really think I'd hurt you like that!?" 

"No I do trust you," Cal grabbed your hands desperately at seeing your bewilderment. "But I don't trust them. I'm..." 

"What?" 

"I'm-- gosh I don't want to say it!'' Cal lowered his voice. "I'm… intimidated by them..." 

"...intimidated?" You could hardly stifle a laugh. 

Cal? Intimidated? Your 200 pounds of muscle werewolf boyfriend was scared of your friends' intentions? 

"I promise you there's nothing to be afraid of when it comes to them." You brought his face into your hands. 

"Yeah I know I know," He fidgeted and looked away. "But I can't help it when everytime you smell like them, it makes me so... ugh." 

"Awe..." you couldn't resist. He looked so cute pouting. "I dont think I've ever seen you jealous before." You teased. 

"I'm..I'm not jealous!" 

"You looked at him with your eyebrows raised and an emotionless stare. 

"Okay, maybe i'm a little jealous. But so what! I'm allowed to be jealous." 

You laughed and kissed his cheek. 

Cal smiled into your hand and pressed his lips against your palm. Despite his small grin, the worry from his eyes didn't leave. 

"That's not all, is it?" 

"No," He muffled into your hand. "But it's fine." 

Cal kissed your fingertips, moving down to your wrist then to the rest of your arm. His soft, wolf-like ears flattened against the side of his head.

"No, you can't just avoid the question like that," 

You tried to pull your hand away but Cal kept his grip. Your struggle made the werewolf take matters into his own hands, pinning your hands behind you as he pulled you into his lap. 

"Let me go." You faced him defiantly. 

"And why should I?" 

Cal looked smug, pressing his chest up to touch yours. 

But despite his cheekiness, an idea brewed in your head. 

"Alright, fine. But if I have to stay here, you're going to tell me why you're still upset." You gave him a deep grin. 

Cal rolled his eyes letting out a dramatic sigh. 

"It's not all that important!" He looked conflicted, deciding whether or not to answer you. "It's just.. sometimes I think, maybe you'd want someone normal," He stares at the ceiling, holding onto your waist limply. "Yknow, someone who won't slobber all over you when he kisses you." He laughs sadly but it turns into a frown. "Someone who doesn't crush you everytime he tries to give you a hug, or is afraid of scratching you. " 

Cal suddenly looked uncomfortable at the thought of touching you. 

"Oh Cal," you say with pity in your voice. 

"Don't do that." He puts a hand over his eyes. "You know as well as I do. You never stopped to think for a moment of how our future would be? What you're going to have to face?" 

"Of course but I-" you swallowed thickly.  "I never thought of it that way. It has never been a chore for me or a fear to be with you. I think of us with... excitement." You were desperate for him to look at you. "Cal, listen, I don't want anyone else. Look at me."

 You cupped his cheeks and pressed your nose against his. "No one else. I don't care if you're messy sometimes or a bit too strong, I love those things about you." 

Cal stared back, hanging onto every word, waiting for a 'but,' or a look of deceit. But neither came. 

"Are you sure…?" He said in a low whisper.

"Positive." You ruffled his hair and looked into his eyes. "I love you, and nothing will ever change that." 

Your sincere voice was like music to his ears. Cal smiled against you, grabbing your waist to secure his hold. 

"Say that again?" He asked. 

"I said--" you looked back down at him to see a triumphant grin on his full lips. "Nevermind." 

"No no! Say it again, what was that?" 

"Now you're just teasing me--!" 

Your face grew hot with cal kissing your neck and pleading for you to repeat yourself. 

It was the first time you ever spoke the words 'I love you' to him. His soft, animalistic ears flicked against your chin as he ran his lips down your body. Suffocating you with a hug, Cal's large tail flicked from behind, swishing back and forth like a happy dog. 

"NOW you're gonna crush me--" you managed to choke out between his sloppy kisses and the squeezing fingers gripping you. 

Cal's nails were dangerously close to cutting the dip of your back; his hold on you decreased as he whispered next to your ear. His hot breath fanned over face, lips threatening to consume you. 

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🩷 - FLUFF

🔥 - SMUT

🙇 - ANGST

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╰┈➤ YOU'RE STUPID, BUT I LOVE YOU - 🩷

Summary: Your bestfriend Doyoung asked for your help in preparing an engagement for his girlfriend. As he was about to enter a new chapter in his life, your friendship with him went through a very challenging phase - causing both of you to reflect about your stupid decisions in life.

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